The truth is, raising a newborn is a team effort, and it’s essential to ask your partner for help
As a new parent, there’s nothing more frustrating than feeling like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of feedings, diaper changes, and sleepless nights. And if you’re in a partnership, it can be even more frustrating to feel like you’re shouldering all the responsibility on your own. But the truth is, raising a newborn is a team effort, and it’s essential to ask your partner for help.
Also see supporting your wife during childbirth.
The problem is, asking for help isn’t always easy. It can feel like you’re admitting that you can’t handle it on your own, or like you’re putting a burden on your partner. But the truth is, everyone needs help at some point, and your partner wants to be there for you.
So, how do you ask for help without coming across as helpless or demanding?
Here are a few tips:
- Be specific: Instead of saying something like “I need help,” try to be more specific about what you need. For example, “I could really use some help with the 2 am feeding tonight,” or “I’m feeling overwhelmed and could use a break for an hour or two.”
- Use “I” statements: Instead of accusing your partner of not pulling their weight, try to focus on how you’re feeling. For example, “I feel like I’m doing everything on my own,” or “I’m struggling to keep up with the demands of a new baby.”
- Be open to suggestions: When you’re asking for help, it’s important to be open to suggestions. For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed and your partner suggests that they take the baby for a walk, it’s important to be open to that idea.
- Show appreciation: When your partner does step up and help, make sure to show your appreciation. A simple thank you can go a long way in making your partner feel valued and motivated to help again.
- Make it a team effort: Lastly, remember that raising a baby is a team effort. Instead of asking for help in a way that implies that you’re the only one who needs it, try to make it a team effort. For example, “I know we’re both feeling exhausted, what can we do to make things easier for both of us?”
Remember you partner is also going through changes
It’s also important to remember that your partner is also going through a lot of changes and adjustments. They may not always know how to help or what you need, but communication is key. Also, don’t be afraid to have a sense of humor during this time, it can make a huge difference.
In conclusion, asking for help as a new parent can be challenging, but it’s essential to your well-being and the well-being of your baby. By being specific, using “I” statements, being open to suggestions, showing appreciation, and making it a team effort, you can ask your partner for help in a way that feels supportive rather than demanding. And don’t forget to have a sense of humor, It’s important to laugh and enjoy this special time with your little one and your partner.
