Navigating Picky Eating: From Throwing Food to Tasting It

It happens almost overnight. Your baby who happily devoured broccoli mash and salmon suddenly looks at a blueberry like it’s poison.

Welcome to toddlerhood.

Picky eating is developmentally normal. Toddlers are seeking autonomy ("No!" is a powerful word) and their growth rate slows down, lowering their appetite. But that doesn't make it less stressful for parents.

The Golden Rule: Division of Responsibility

Created by Ellyn Satter, this is the Holy Grail of childhood feeding.

• Parent's Job: DECIDE What, When, and Where to eat.
• Child's Job: DECIDE If and How Much to eat.

Do not cross the line. If you beg ("Just one bite"), bribe ("Eat this and you get a cookie"), or short-order cook ("Fine, I'll make nuggets"), you are doing the child's job. This increases pressure, which kills appetite.

Why They Reject Food

1. Neophobia: Fear of new things. It’s an evolutionary survival trait.
2. Sensory Overload: Texture, smell, or color is overwhelming.
3. Control: Not eating is a way to gain power over you.
4. Not Hungry: Toddler appetites are erratic. They might eat 3 bowls of pasta on Tuesday and one cracker on Wednesday. Look at intake over a week, not a day.

Strategies That Work

1. The "Safe Food"

Always include one food on the plate you know they usually eat (bread, fruit, cheese). This lowers anxiety. They see a safe landing pad.

2. Family Style

Put food in bowls in the middle of the table. Let them serve themselves (with help). This gives them the autonomy they crave. They are more likely to try peas they scooped themselves.

3. Food Bridges

Use properties of foods they like to bridge to new ones.

• Likes: French Fries (Salty, crunchy, stick shape).
• Try: Roasted Parsnip fries or Breaded Zucchini sticks.
• Likes: Mac n Cheese (Cheesy, soft).
• Try: Cauliflower cheese bake.

4. Play With Your Food

Yes, really.

• Stack cucumber coins into a tower.
• Make a face with peppers.
• "Kiss" the broccoli (touching it to lips is a step toward eating it!). Exposure counts, even if they don't swallow. Touching, smelling, and licking are all wins.

5. No Pressure Language

• Avoid: "It's yummy," "You have to eat it," "Good boy for eating."
• Try: "This is crunchy," "It's green like a dinosaur," "You don't have to eat it."

When to Worry

Consult a pediatrician or feeding therapist if:

• They have fewer than 20 safe foods.
• They drop entire food groups (won't eat any proteins).
• They gag or vomit at the sight of food.
• They represent poor growth/weight loss.

The Long Game

Your goal isn't to get them to eat broccoli tonight. Your goal is to raise a competent eater for life. Keep offering. Keep modeling enjoyment of food. Keep the stress low. They will (probably) eat a vegetable again by the time they are 25.